IFor many men, being asked to provide a semen sample in a fertility clinic is framed as a routine, clinical step. But for men living with erectile dysfunction (ED), this moment can feel anything but routine. It can be emotionally loaded, pressure-filled, and deeply exposing, especially when arousal is unpredictable, the environment is clinical, and time constraints loom. To better understand this experience, we spoke with a man living with ED about what it felt like to attend a fertility clinic and attempt to produce a sample. His reflections highlight the often-unseen emotional burden of this process and the urgent need for more supportive, inclusive tools and environments.
Can you talk me through what that day at the clinic felt like for you emotionally, not just practically?
Apprehension is how I felt. Wondering if I would be able to provide a sample. I remember trying to look calm on the outside. On the inside, I was wondering how long I could remain in the room before it was noticed by the staff.
What thoughts were going through your mind when you realised you had to provide a sample?
Initially, I thought, “here we go again”, knowing all the stress that was going to come my way. The sample can be produced before the appointment but due to the location of the clinic to my house this would not have been possible.
Did the clinic environment itself help or hinder your ability to feel aroused?
I felt it hindered me. It was a very white and sterile environment. I was in the room with no distractions and no phone signal, as it was in the basement. Just me and my inner voice.
What kind of support did you wish had been offered to you in that moment?
I don’t think too much could have been done by the clinic itself, to be honest.
How did the experience affect how you felt about your body or sexual function afterwards?
I am quite an avoidant person, so as soon as I left, I buried it deep and moved on with my life.
Did you feel able to talk honestly with staff about struggling, or did you feel pressure to ‘just get on with it’?
No, I did not. The staff were there to collect a sample, and I did not want to burden them. For that reason, I did feel I needed to get on with it. This is no reflection on the staff, as even if I did have the opportunity to let them know, I probably would not have.
What role did time pressure play for you, knowing there was a window or expectation to perform?
This played hugely on my mind. I was always worried I was taking too long as i heard the doors of other rooms open and close repeatedly, I knew i was taking time.
If your partner was involved in the fertility journey, how did this experience impact your connection or communication?
She understands what I go through and is very supportive. When we go against this challenges in life I always feel the communication brings us closer.
If you could redesign that experience for someone with ED, what would you change?
I would somehow make it less clinical, and I would definitely add a phone signal in the room.
This experience highlights a critical gap in fertility care: semen collection is not just a physical task, but a psychological and emotional challenge, particularly for men with ED, anxiety, or performance-related stress. Devices like Medivibe offer clinics a practical, dignified way to support patients who may struggle with traditional masturbation methods. Because Medivibe can be used both flaccid and erect, it removes the pressure to “perform” on demand and helps patients focus on comfort, sensation, and agency rather than anxiety.